January 17, 2011 – Women love affection and attention; men don’t know how to give it.
A woman wants to get home to a warm hug, an ear for her endless work stories (the good one and much more the complaints) and a lot of ‘me time.’
To the contrary, the man’s idea of an evening after a tiring day goes something like: get home, take a shower and have a nice meal with some background music of choice or a favourite TV show or movie. The midweek European Premier League match crowns the evening fabulously.
These different expectations lead to the cancer in a number of marriages today; conflict of interest.
Listening to men at times ‘the attention hungry woman’ translates into a bother. However for those who endure the bother they keep the home peaceful and their women/girlfriends happy.
Drawing from the bible: when God created Eve for Adam he named her ‘Adam’s companion.’ Checking the dictionary meaning of the word companion left me even more convinced that women have the right to demand the attention.
“Companion: One, who accompanies, associates or is in company with another for a longer or shorter period, either from choice or casually.”
I am now persuaded that it is men’s divine duty to offer this precious gift to their women.
I picked a few simple but fundamental do’s and don’ts that men could work with.
A phone call makes all the difference:
– A call in the morning means you are already missing her. It sends her mood to the moon. (You may argue that you just dropped her off at work but that does not hold water in her world).
– Another call at midday means that you are thinking about her.
– It’s too bad for her to compete for your attention with the phone. Getting into the house while on your phone puts her off. So expect an “I thought you were coming home to me?”
She craves for your unrivalled attention:
– Women, I have gathered, love to be noticed. She wants her man to appreciate her new dress, her hair, her meals, her jewellery, typically her everything!
You may have liked her outfit but a smile does not communicate anything. She wants you to say it. She most likely dressed up for you. The sad unlikelihood is that when she feels you no longer appreciate it, she will dress for the boss, colleagues, the pastor…
– When you get home don’t assume you were with her. A call half an hour before you got home does not qualify to knowing how her day was. She wants you to sit with her and catch up with her. Genuinely finding out how her day was qualifies here.
– At times they want their men to just be there with them. Anything you might think of: watching a movie with her on the couch, sitting with her in the kitchen as she prepares dinner, going out with her for coffee…
– She should never compete for your attention with evening phone calls or the TV.
– A friend of mine once told me that the TV has become her co-wife. Reason? Her husband is always on the TV flipping through the channels.
The small girl in her cries out:
– A hug, a peck/kiss, and holding her hands are all ‘girlish’ actions but every woman, including a 70-year-old, longs for them. I’m told these small ‘kiddish’ acts communicate a feeling that they are important.
– A hug and a peck the moment you get home means you missed her and you are glad to be home.
– Sitting with her on the couch as you have dinner may just be all she needs to know you value her.
A gift communicates she is a special one:
– It’s not the size or value of the gift that matters but the thought behind the purchase.
– There is that one thing that sweeps her off the ground. For some it is that piece of jewellery, but it also could be a bouquet of flowers or a card. Whatever it is make a point of giving it to her often. It keeps her afloat even when your relationship is experiencing turbulence. Be sure to get it for her and she will be overflowing with joy,
Women are visual. They want to see, feel and hear that they are valued. She wants to believe she is the most important thing in your live, more important than your career and more so your friends and family!