December 22, 2010 – A broken heart is something that is not elusive in relationships. Any of you that have managed to experience the explosion; the wounds left are raw and deep.

Relationships make people vulnerable and therefore, during a break-up the hurt could be mind-numbing. So how long does it take to move on? A friend of mine believes in a formula: the length of the relationship divided in half.

Some of you might agree with this formula, while some of you shut everyone out and I suppose that’s your prerogative. So what exactly is the best way to get over a broken heart? Perhaps this process would work for some:

Grieve – This does not necessarily mean crying. Grieving for a relationship is taking the necessary time that you need to be by yourself and do whatever you need to chuck your sad feelings out.

Acceptance – Accept that it’s over. Having constant reminders of the person will not help your plight. So take down the pictures, pack up their stuff and send it back to them. Also, take time to analyse the relationship and learn from previous mistakes. Learn not only from your mistakes, but from your partner’s mistakes. This way, you can take wisdom into your next relationship and avoid a repeat performance.

Replace – Find something to fill in the free time. Find a new hobby to fill in the blanks where you are prone to be attacked by thoughts and feelings.

Talk – As hard as it is for you to open up to other people about your pain, bottling it up is not the way to deal with it. Sometimes the best way to heal a wound is to rip the band-aid and let it bleed. So talk it out with someone.

Get out there – This does not mean have a one night stand. This means start dating again. It may not necessarily be seriously but by getting out there again, you tend to build your confidence slowly. And if anything, it will be a chance to apply some of the lessons you took from your previous relationship

Overall, time heals a broken heart. As a quote I once read from an unknown author states:

‘Love is like a puzzle. When you’re in love, all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get everything back together.’