December 16, 2010 – I will just come right out and say it. I think a change of scenery is good for relationships. And by change of scenery I mean seeing other people every once in a while. They say that change is as good as rest right?

Well I won’t tire of saying that relationships are hard work and a break is quite often welcome. The general thought is that you should be in it for the long haul, however even truck drivers headed for the Congo have layovers and that is the epitome of the long haul!

What you are thinking right now is that I am advocating philandering. You couldn’t be further from the truth. I am making a case for re-energising relationships. Asking for a break does not mean that I am tired of your crap. It simply means that I am tired! (Okay that’s a fib .I am probably tired of your crap right now).

Now let me explain what I mean by seeing other people. Hanging out with other people is not a bad thing. If I opt to go on a date with someone else does that mean that am cheating on you? Well does it? Let’s define cheating.

I have heard of cheating on someone emotionally! Hog-wosh! Women come up with every kind of excuse to mask their insecurities. Scratch that. They come up with all manner of things to bring out their insecurities. What on God’s green earth is emotional dogging? I’m either copulating with someone else or I’m not!

Going on a date with someone else can have very many advantages. Apart from the thought that this other person might be better than you are; there is very little danger of cheating especially if you are in a healthy relationship.

There is seldom any real danger of the grass being greener on the other side unless:

a) You are a gold digging, inconsiderate and insecure drama queen. And/or

b) You have been having one too many “headaches” of late.

If you are not in this bracket then halfway through the date his mind should wander right back to you. He should wonder why he is sitting across the table from a stranger instead of snuggling next to you and your “headache”. Lets face it people one major reason we get into relationships is to have sex on tap so to speak.

The crux of the matter is that most relationships die a natural death long before the participants know it is six feet under. This is because it has quite literally been dead in the water for a while. The mixed phrases are meant to illustrate the gravity of the situation and most importantly that couples are often bored out of their wits and wallowing in the drudgery of routine way before one partner sounds the death knell of the tortuous experience by cheating! Or rather getting caught!

I propose that having a pseudo open relationship would be healthier than an exclusive one where the only mutual interest is sex and/or financial support. The exclusive relationship suffers from a closed mind set and a set of rules that should not apply to all interpersonal relations.

Maybe I am a little liberal and play fast and loose with people’s feelings but I do not play by the rules that have been set by society. I especially abhor those set out by beauty/fashion magazines, sex-perts and relationship gurus. If I find a relationship is getting weary I will take a break! There is nothing as difficult as carrying a burden one cannot put down – regardless of the weight!

There are therefore grounds for mock separations and indeed the change of scenery would in effect lead to a deeper understanding and appreciation of one other.

Before you kill the messenger think about it. Let it swirl around in your head for a while. Now tell me that there are days when you wouldn’t give anything not to go home to the same old same old. Tell me that there has never been a day when even drinks did no good! If a Tusker cannot drown the reality that you are in a rut quit the couple’s rat race and take a break!

But just like a vacation, do not linger lest you turn from a tourist to a resident. Change scenery; do not relocate! 

 

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