Is Beyonce ruining your relationship?

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July 30, 2010 – Ladies, you always knew this day would come. We need to rethink our position when it comes to Beyonce. I know she has empowered many of you but enough is enough. As a woman, there have been numerous times when I’ve listened to a Beyonce song and actually felt like she knew what was going on in my life. Like my best friend even. You know all those “TO THE LEFT, TO THE LEFT” moments? Yes, they are a classic symptom of Beyonceitis. But ladies, the madness has got to stop. When you listen to the following songs, please bear in mind that Beyonce is a happily married woman with a very rich husband to boot.

SINGLE LADIES

Like I’ve already said, Beyonce is married to a man who can and does give her anything and everything under the sun. So she can talk all the sh*t in the world about “putting a ring on it”, but when it comes down to the REAL “single ladies,” giving your boyfriend an ultimatum like “If you like it then you should have put a ring on it” will not work if he does NOT want to! Bottom line is you can’t force a man to do something that he does not want to do! The ring will come if it’s meant to. But flaunting your naked ring finger and piling the pressure will not hasten it’s arrival.

DIVA

Now this is a case where we just don’t pay attention to the words. It’s fine to pop, lock and drop all over the BE_2_894138278.jpgclub to this song, but what is your significant other thinking when he sees you? I love the song and love the concept but “This is a stick up, stick up–I need them bags of that money,” just exposes you as a ruthless gold digger, which is fine if that’s what you are. But what if that’s not you? #imjustsaying

INDEPENDENT WOMEN

“The shoes on my feet, I bought it. The clothes I’m wearing I bought it The rock I’m rockin’ I bought it. ‘Cause I depend on me–if I want it. The watch you’re wearin’–i’ll buy it. The house I live in I bought it. The car I’m driving I bought it. I depend on me”. That was my jam when I was back in high school. Never mind that I was still living with my mum and hadn’t worked a day in my life. Let’s be real though. Men love independent women. Just as long as you don’t shove it in their faces. Then they tend to get a bit intimidated and soon, you’ll be needing a whole lot of plaster to seal up the cracks in your relationship. So go ahead. Treat yourself to some Jimmy Choos. Buy him a Movado. Just don’t shut him out. Give him space to feel like he is contributing something too.

VIDEO PHONE

Okay, first off, this really wasn’t one of my favourite videos. I felt like Beyonce and Gaga just went too far with this one. Nevertheless, there are those of us who would actually be silly enough to follow her advice and let someone record them on a video phone. Here’s a thought: do you think Bey would ever let someone do so? Can you imagine the repercussions for her if it leaked? It’s just a bad idea all around. And when we think of our beautiful Nairobi, I can only see chaos coming from this. With all the clandes and mpango wa kandos, Ciku would have her own Busted TV Show! No more drama please and thank you.

IRREPLACEABLE

This one should really be self explanatory but for the sake of the slow ones I’ll spell it out. “To the left, to the left” and “I can have another you in a minute” should be left for the times when you are absolutely sure that you will not be crawling back for forgiveness. And believe me, there is no man who will forgive you for singing that at him, all the while wagging your finger in his face and shaking your neck till it looks like it will fall off. So please do the mature thing and talk things out.

Disclaimer: I do love Beyonce but her music is not Bible truth 🙂

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