Who wants to be a superstar?

Feb. 21 | It is almost human nature to not want to be identified as ordinary; and so as humans we try to do everything in our power to stand out from the crowd. It could be from something as basic as a hairstyle to something as complicated as a fusion of metals or architectural design. Even those who seem to blend in the crowd boast of certain achievements or exploits when in the privacy of their homes or in their circle of friends. You just have to. The bottom line is there is a rat race that is almost purely driven by this near egotistical desire. Look at it this way, if everyone on the planet were to be counted in this equation, then that would mean those are 6 billion things everyday that someone is doing to try and go against the grain. And as they work hard in varying degrees to achieve, there is an underlying hope that somewhere along the line;...

We are not yams, we are people

Jan. 24 | There’s a story I’ve told nearly all my friends and I have had the pleasure of hearing them repeat it to their friends, albeit with a ‘bit of salt’. Let me tell it to you. The title of this story is “We are not yams, We are people” and it’s a snippet from a movie I happened to watch some time back. It goes like this: a man was stopped by police at a road-block and when they opened his car’s boot there were two yams in it. The man said he had gotten them at the market, but when the officer was trying to shut his boot, the yams cried out “We are not yams, we are people”! The man was whisked to the police station where he was asked to state what the yams really were. But as he was about to reveal their identity, one yam shouted “Remember your promise!” So he kept quiet. An...

Its impossible to succeed without passion

Nov. 29 | Ever since I could remember my mom had wanted me to be a doctor. I had no way of telling her that the sight of blood outside of an action flick was completely revolting to me. And even if I did, she was dead set on it, with complete backing from my dad. It was like a conspiracy of faith they had in me and they were determined that I could do it if I tried. I guess my mom knew that if I studied medicine I would never be out of a job and I would most probably have a house in a leafy suburb – and not the ones full of highrise flats with bad finishing. So mom was doing her job of steering her child to success and even though I am not a doctor, I am grateful for the pep-talk that did help me push myself to the limit, academically. I am also grateful, that when my mom saw me drawing figurines – all in roller blades – she would...

The difference in rape is the condom

Nov. 22 | The only difference between male and female rapists is that the women use condoms. Nobody understands rape and there are always more than ten factors that can contribute to a single incident, but one thing for sure is that the women do use condoms. I would like to stress that I am no scientist, but I assume it’s because they do not want to get pregnant. Killer diseases and STIs do not feature in this equation, and I’m certain that neither does love. There was a book that was yanked off Amazon.com recently: “The Paedophile Guide to Love and Pleasure: A Child-lover’s code of conduct”. The man who wrote it – Philip Graves – says most paedophiles actually love children and are just misunderstood. But perish the thought. What has love really got to do with it? It is absurd to think that love would make...

Citizens must clean up their act too

Oct. 31 | We were baying for their blood and now that we have it, does it make us any better as a people? I was away from the office when I got SMS alerts one after the other, about ministers resigning, mayors spending nights in police custody and a literal whirlwind over misused taxpayers cash. Good for us, I thought! These guys are getting what they deserve! How dare they mess around with our money and think they can get away scot free. We are all working hard and the pain felt when paying taxes, that money must be put to good use, no? It was nice, nay thrilling, to see them being held accountable for the sins they committed. For the rest of the day, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I mean, this, just after all those peaceful by-elections. Kenya really is on the path of change, and things might just get better yet! But I wondered if it made...

Is your friend for rent?

Oct. 10 | Have you ever thought about renting a friend? I saw an article about this on the BBC news website recently and found it quite amusing. Why on earth would somebody rent a friend, I wondered? What possible value could you be getting for your money, and would it not be better if you had real friends to hang out with instead? Could this option only be for people with bad social skills? Or is it like a cheap way of getting a shrink? And how does one qualify? Though there is a website that handles this renting process, I didn’t want to visit it until I played around with the idea a little bit for myself. I mean, it had to be for people with no jobs and they needed to be ‘friends’ to make some cash right? Because according to the site, renting a friend costs Sh800 an hour…not bad! Tucked in alongside the musing was an important...

Its just how men are

Oct. 3 | We’ve heard this excuse so often, the only thing I can call it is ridiculous. Maybe he’s taken a shower but will not be bothered to apply lotion and so his skin will looked caked all day and his woman should accept it, because isn’t that just how men are? It gets better, his wife is looking big and unattractive – she had better shape up he thinks – because there’s a gorgeous little girl who loves his car and thinks his belly is so cute, but that’s just how men are, yeah? Odds usually are that the men in the house will coerce the maid or househelp if you like to sleep with them, just in case they were lonely and feeling inclined, and we need to understand that that’s just how men are, you know. If at all it should be that a woman giving a man a hard time, the one thing that men would do above...

Married but available

Sep. 26 | This story can go on and on. So let me start by saying that I got the headline from a comment on my previous blog and it got me thinking. Saying “married but available” is almost as easy as saying “niaje” (what’s up). How did it get to be this way? What happened to the days when being married meant your private parts and your heart were locked up and only your spouse had the key? A long long time ago, marriage was a license for a lifetime of loving company and a sure ticket to the mystery that was sex. In those days, procreation was inevitable; like part of the process. Marriage was also used to cement relations between kingdoms and to possibly restore peace between or strengthen communities. Whatever the reason, you were still under lock and key. At some point after that, it was all about age. You had to get...