Once upon a time, in the far away village called Den Haag, there lived a mighty beast.
The fearful creature stretched all of seven metres, and its long, flattened killing weapon – the tail – moved from side to side as it swam through water.
Now, behold, in another far away county of Wareng, there lived a gallant soldier.
His enemies abhorred him, while his people revered him. Samoei The Warrior had the blood of his community’s greatest ruler – the one and only Koitalel – flowing thick and fast through his large, visible veins.
Now, Samoei The Warrior feared no man, woman or beast. Those that had waged war against him had been vanquished, and their skeletons erected on Samoei’s compound as proof of his prowess.
Bullfighters, fishermen, ironsmith women from the land of Gichugu…..all are nothing but skeletons on Samoei’s compound now.
This warrior could eat an entire field of maize, straight from the farm, consuming everything.
And so, one day, Warrior Samoei decided to tackle the beast of Den Haag. He went to the river and summoned it. The prehistoric creature waded its tail in water and eyeballed Samoei The Warrior at the edge of the river.
“Open your mouth!” ordered Samoei.
Confused but excited at the prospects of such an easy way to have a meal, the beast stretched its huge jaw muscles and opened its mouth to display its 200 million years old 72 very, very, sharp teeth.
Samoei The Warrior looked at the menacing display of might, but he was unmoved.
He knelt down.
Crawling slowly on his knees and hands, keeping straight eye contact with the beast, Samoei the Warrior moved closer to the open mouth.
Then, slowly, he put his head in the beast’s terrifying mouth.
“Now, bite me. I dare you to bite me!” he bellowed.
What did the beast do?
Did it bite?
Well, this is a story for another day, my children.